My mind keeps drawing me back to remember Barbara Ann Moree.
Barbara was a little girl who was on our prayer list weekly when I pastored the small country Church in Longtown, South Carolina. Barbara had been born with a severe disability (something like Cerebral Palsy) and had been institutionalized since she had been born. Over the years in Longtown I visited Barbara several times and prayed for her weekly in the long pastoral prayer during the Sunday Service.
As near as I could tell the only family that cared and looked after Barbara was her Grandmother Margaret who was a faithful member of the small flock I served in Longtown. Margaret was a gentle lady who cared deeply for this child and it was through Margaret that I came to know Barbara Ann.
I would go with Margaret occasionally to visit the child who would have been between 8 and 10 years old when I first met her as a newly minted minister. Barbara Ann couldn’t speak or walk and showed no outward signs of recognizing people being in her presence. She was thoroughly confined to a hospital bed.
Margaret had told me Barbara Ann’s story and it was a sad one. Despite that I rejoiced that Barbara Ann had her grandmother as an advocate and so was not totally bereft of family love.
Eventually, Margaret asked me if I would baptize Barbara Ann and remembering Jesus’ words to “forbid not the children to come unto me for such is the Kingdom of Heaven,” I did indeed Baptize Barbara Ann in that lonely and sterile hospital room with just Margaret in attendance. Margaret was so grateful that day that her little broken granddaughter had been given the sacrament of Baptism.
My mind keeps being drawn back to Barbara Ann because I now have a grand-daughter that is broken much the same as Barbara Ann was. And I am learning through my grand-daughter that it is possible that Barbara Ann may have understood much more of the world than I would have thought possible in 1995 when I knew Barbara Ann. Given Barbara Ann’s condition I assumed that there was nobody home. Now I realize that it is possible that Barbara Ann was very much present in a body that was completely broken.
My Grand-daughter is likewise, to all immediate appearances, a child who one could easily conclude is completely mentally inert. Like Barbara Ann, Ella cannot walk or speak. However, as of late, because of the advent of technology and the determination of Ella to let people know that she is present, Ella has, despite her broken body, begun to blossom. She is communicating now about any number of subjects — subjects that most 12 year old little girls wouldn’t ever think to take time to comment. Yesterday, for example, Ella listened to a sermon on the sin of Grumbling and the necessity to be thankful and she responded via her technology that “I would rather know Jesus than be able to walk.”
My emotions when this is reported are mixed. I rejoice that Ella is able to communicate, however at the same time I remain deeply saddened concerning her brokenness. However, I likewise am drawn back to Barbara Ann Moree with regret and shame that I just assumed that she was completely absent and inert. Maybe Barbara Ann wasn’t home … but Ella has taught me that maybe she was. I also then find immediate gratitude and deeper appreciation for Barbara’s Grandmother Margaret who was so faithful in caring for that child.
I am also thankful again for God’s grace to Barbara Ann in the gift of Baptism. Even if I failed Barbara Ann in not being more solicitous I can thank God for His marking out this child as a member of the covenant. The one person who was more faithful to Barbara Ann than her grandmother was our and her loving heavenly father.
I don’t know why God decided to touch both Barbara Ann and Ella and countless others. These kind of disabilities can only be dealt with by trusting that God will have a final eschatological word to say about the problem of evil in general and the problem of evil as touching particular people. The revelation of the particulars of God’s goodness in these cases will only be known on the final day. Until then, we trust the testimony of Scripture that God is good to His people without fail — and we hold tenaciously to God’s goodness even though the world might scream at us the way Job’s wife did; “Curse God and die.”
I imagine 30 years later that Barbara Ann may likely have passed away given the severity of her condition. However, I look forward to meeting her again in the new heavens and the new earth.
In all this I am reminded again how important it is to be gentle with those who are physically and mentally broken. I am also reminded to thank God for those things that come into our lives that we don’t understand and am reminded to continue to trust Him despite the fact that our senses shout at us to not trust God.
Further, I thank the benevolent God for my grand-daughter Ella. She is only 12 but I already long for the ability to trust God the way she clearly does. I thank God that He has determined that Ella would be able to thank her parents for their care and I thank God that He has given her the ability, seemingly against all odds, to be able to draw and paint. If you ever met Ella you would never be able to guess that her drawings and paintings could come from her broken and crippled hand.
Finally there is a word here about the necessity to continue to be pro-life as Christians. It would be easy to conclude that lives such as Barbara Ann and Ella are not lives worth living. Yet, God is the creator of all life and who is man that he should arise to the place of Creator and sovereign to determine who should and should not be given life? For Christians especially we should be reminded of the need to esteem and minister “to the least of these.” In light of that I thank God for Margaret and for Ella’s parents and siblings (Edward, Gwen, Winry and Alphonse). It is hard work caring for a broken and disabled child and such families do not receive the recognition that they should receive for so faithfully fulfilling their calling, as assigned by God, to the least of these. So, for whatever it is worth I salute my son-in-law and daughter and their children. I salute the Aaron Belk family who I know only a wee little bit who likewise minister to a child touched by God in this way.
And I pray for a faith that can trust God in all the hardships in life that mystify us now and will continue to mystify us until all is made clear on that final day.
