A Post-modern Epilogue To “A Christmas Carol

It was just a few weeks after Ebenezer’s Scrooge’s wondrous transformation and finally Ebenezer’s former fiance, Belle, finally got wind of the change in her former beau. Upon hearing the report Belle had to see for herself so she secretly put herself in the way of Ebenezer’s acts of kindness to see for herself.

Having witnessed it all, she was drawn back to the enchantment she once had for Ebenezer and this enchantment increased the long endured  misery she had with her current husband. Life had been hard since she had spurned Ebenezer. Her husband was so generous towards orphans, immigrants, and the Oliver Twist types in London that she and the children often went around in rags and sometimes went hungry. She had tried to talk sense into her husband but he always responded with… “Hey, we need to love everybody the same.” Her husband had used the same type of reasoning for his dalliances with other women. “Now, Belle, honey, it’s hardly right or Christian, in light of the fact of the ‘Brotherhood of all men’ that I should favor you above all the other Sheilas.” And so Belle had spent her married life in misery constantly thinking that being married to a miser like Ebenezer could have been any worse.

And now Ebenezer was a changed man and her own Eberhard remained so unchanged. Belle couldn’t help but wonder why three spirits had not visited her husband … why Eberhard could not have been transformed just as Ebenezer clearly had been.

The children were all grown now and Belle was left alone with this spendthrift that she had grown to find repulsive. If Ebenezers later years could be lived as a changed man then why couldn’t her life also be changed from what she had endured all her life?

Belle decided not to wait for an extraterrestrial visitation from a syndical of Spirits. She would take matters in her own hands.

And so Belle began to plot. It all began with her separation and divorce from Eberhard. She had proper reasons to do so for decades but now with the possibility of returning to a transformed Ebenezer and a life lived of comparative comfort the iron was hot for such a divorce from Eberhard.

When Belle told Eberhard of her intentions, he merely shrugged and reminded her that he had plenty of other phillies in the pasture.  Belle rejoiced at this response. Now, she had to set the hook for Ebenezer.

On Christmas Eve day of the year following the visitation of the Spirits Belle put herself in the way of Ebenezer in the best dress she had left, along with all the feminine accouterments that she thought would be necessary for Ebenezer’s next transformation. Belle thought of herself as the Spirit of Christmas Femme-fatale. “And why not” she thought, “after all Ebenezer will be even happier after he sweeps me off my feet.”

And just as Belle planned Ebenezer remembered all that was past when all of Belle was present again before him. In no short amount of time Ebenezer had “wrenched” out of Belle her “story.” The sympathy for Belle swelled to levels not seen since that same sympathy had swelled for Tiny Tim almost a year ago.

From that point on, the old flame of the old romance was kindled. Just as Ebenezer had been transformed by the Spirits of the previous year, so Ebenezer was transformed by the  Spirit of Belle and in July a Christmas wedding was planned.

And for the few years that Belle and Ebenezer had left together Ebenezer never treated her as if she was “just another woman.” Ebenezer prized her above all women and even treated Belle’s children as having a unique relationship to him. All the egalitarianism of Eberhard was gone from Belle’s life and her life was now transformed.

Author: jetbrane

I am a Pastor of a small Church in Mid-Michigan who delights in my family, my congregation and my calling. I am postmillennial in my eschatology. Paedo-Calvinist Covenantal in my Christianity Reformed in my Soteriology Presuppositional in my apologetics Familialist in my family theology Agrarian in my regional community social order belief Christianity creates culture and so Christendom in my national social order belief Mythic-Poetic / Grammatical Historical in my Hermeneutic Pre-modern, Medieval, & Feudal before Enlightenment, modernity, & postmodern Reconstructionist / Theonomic in my Worldview One part paleo-conservative / one part micro Libertarian in my politics Systematic and Biblical theology need one another but Systematics has pride of place Some of my favorite authors, Augustine, Turretin, Calvin, Tolkien, Chesterton, Nock, Tozer, Dabney, Bavinck, Wodehouse, Rushdoony, Bahnsen, Schaeffer, C. Van Til, H. Van Til, G. H. Clark, C. Dawson, H. Berman, R. Nash, C. G. Singer, R. Kipling, G. North, J. Edwards, S. Foote, F. Hayek, O. Guiness, J. Witte, M. Rothbard, Clyde Wilson, Mencken, Lasch, Postman, Gatto, T. Boston, Thomas Brooks, Terry Brooks, C. Hodge, J. Calhoun, Llyod-Jones, T. Sowell, A. McClaren, M. Muggeridge, C. F. H. Henry, F. Swarz, M. Henry, G. Marten, P. Schaff, T. S. Elliott, K. Van Hoozer, K. Gentry, etc. My passion is to write in such a way that the Lord Christ might be pleased. It is my hope that people will be challenged to reconsider what are considered the givens of the current culture. Your biggest help to me dear reader will be to often remind me that God is Sovereign and that all that is, is because it pleases him.

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