Upon finally fleeing Vanity Fair Hopeful and Christian continued on the way to the Celestial city but when they stopped at a well for a drink they encountered two fair maidens named Egalitarianism and SJWism. The maidens did ply them with kindly words and sweet morsels intended to delay them from returning to the road that wended its way to the Celestial City. Dusk came upon them and suddenly Evangelist appeared to chastise Christian and Hopeful for their tardiness. At the sight of Evangelist SJWism and Egalitarianism did hiss and froth. They clutched and pulled at Christian and Hopeful’s clothing seeking to pull them to their Father, Frankfurt’s house.
SJWism said to hopeful, “Will you not come hither with me to my Father’s house. There you might meet my valiant brother ‘Gramsci’ who could teach you the ways of my land.” Hopeful looked longingly at SJWism and then back at Evangelist and finally said, “Fair maiden, I am sorely tempted to learn those arts but Evangelist has reminded me that our Master has said ‘the poor we have with us always.’ Besides, envy is one of the seven deadly sins and it is reported far and wide that your Brother Gramsci excels at teaching the art of envy. Release me, I must not turn aside from the road to the Celestial city.” At these words SJWism viciously scratched Hopeful and drew blood. Evangelist bandaged the wound and informed Hopeful that this wound would doubtless weep for some time and leave a scar but, “it is a slight thing compared to what would have been the death of your soul had you gone to the Frankfurt home.”
All the while Christian and the maiden Egalitarian were whispering. Christian’s mind was slowly being infected with the serpentine words of mistress Egalitarian. Suddenly Evangelist wounded Christian with a thrust of the Word causing both Christian and Egalitarian to shriek. Egalitarian shrilly said to Christian, “Why do you tarry with this madman when you could lay with me in my Father’s home.” Christian, in turn, was shocked and asked Evangelist how he could wound him so. Evangelist simply said to Christian, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Evangelist then explained, “If I left you to the banalities of this woman without injuring you, you would have forever been lost to the Celestial City. As it is now I now have your attention. Listen to me Christian, this woman will reduce you so as to be the same as all those who dwell in her Father Frankfurt’s house. Eventually, she and her Father will convince you that who you are as a son of Adam is no different than who she is as a daughter of Eve. She will eventually convince you that there is no difference between residing in the Celestial City or residing in the Sulfur City. She and her Father, Frankfurt, will disinherit your family and make your children hardened towards your land. She will convince you that nations are evil.” As the words swept over Christian suddenly the enchantment of Egalitarian began to wear off and he saw her as a hideous beast who was both all things living and no thing living. She was at the same time male and female, at the same time Shemite, Japethite, and Hammite, at the same time young and old, at the same time human and animal. Christian said to himself, “For a reason, you were named Egalitarian.” Then like SJWism, with Hopeful, Egalitarian lunged at Christian and did catch him with her fangs and left two gaping holes in Christian’s heel. Evangelist tended to the wound reminding Christian of how the serpent always struck at the heel of the seed of the woman.
Then Christian and Hopeful, both wounded, returned to their path to the Celestial City. It was true they bore the wounds of the Zeitgeist but it was also true that they were now all the more wiser.