To the tune of “Onward Christian Soldiers.”
This was sent to me by a anonymous subscriber. I merely punched it up a little.
1.Onward 2k Cowards,
Retreating from the war,
With the Word of Jesus
Under lock and store
Christ the Royal Master
Tells his subjects “no!
fight not in the culture wars
Submit to your Nero… “
REFRAIN:
Onward 2k Cowards
Retreating from the war
With the Word of Jesus
Under lock and store.
2. Like a Frenchie army,
runs the Church of God
Brothers we are fleeing
Where Christendom had trod
We are schizophrenic
Split personalities
Contradictions in each realm
Norms without clarity
(REFRAIN)
3. Crowns and thrones may perish
Kingdoms rise and wane
But the church of Jesus
All “Contending” it disdains
Gates of hell need now know
‘Christ’s army never prevails
We read Christ’s own promise as
“Don’t try and you won’t fail”
(REFRAIN)
4. Inward turn ye people
Join our schizoid throng
Blend with ours your voices
In our effete song
Live a life that’s common
In the public spheres
Make no waves you pilgrim folk
Just spend your time in tears
(REFRAIN)
————————————————–
Compare the R2K hymn above to a song in our Psalters that is also sung to the same tune
1 Christ shall have dominion
Over land and sea,
Earth’s remotest regions
Shall His empire be;
They that wilds inhabit
Shall their worship bring;
Kings shall render tribute,
Nations serve our King.
Refrain:
Christ shall have dominion
Over land and sea,
Earth’s remotest regions
Shall His empire be.
2 When the needy seek Him,
He will mercy show;
Yea, the weak and helpless
Shall His pity know.
He will surely save them
From oppression’s might,
For their lives are precious
In His holy sight.
[Refrain]
3 Ever and forever
Shall His name endure;
Long as suns continue
It shall stand secure;
And in him forever
All men shall be blest,
And all nations hail Him
King of kings confessed.
[Refrain]
4 Unto God Almighty
Joyful Zion sings;
He alone is glorious,
Doing wondrous things.
Evermore, ye people,
Bless His glorious name,
His eternal glory
Through the earth proclaim.
[Refrain]
Hilarious! I sand the whole thing in my head. What a contrast to the real thing.
Something tells me the R2Kers will be to hard hearted to take this rebuke seriously, though it would save them from everything from irrelevancy to damnation.