Horton Hasn’t A Clue … With Apologies to Dr. Seuss

While all were cheering red, white, & blue
Horton was fuming because he well knew
That Nationalism was part of this patriot stew

And so Horton was in need of getting a clue

Horton thought Christian Nationalism was bad
He believed it a lalapalooza persnickety ick crawling crad
He angrily spit out the “heretic” charge and said he was mad
At white Christians who were seeking to see Jesus unclad

So he picked up his pen and he grabbed the nearest mic
He’d “Teach them a thing,” and “He’d give them a strike”
He’d undress and lance those who were beyond childlike
He’d put all of their heads on proverbial pikes

How dare these children to think that Jesus was a King?
Or that America should bow and kiss the king’s ring?
Must the Church be filled with whites who are right-wing?
Fools to not know that Jesus died to lose all nations and things

So with all of the force found in his large Marxist brain
Horton began to cogitate, and write and he began to explain
How Jesus was no longer interested in having a National reign
How with the disappearance of Israel that’d not happen again

Horton droned on about the Mosaic and the end of the law
And Horton added a flourish that “showed” everyone’s flaw
He bobbed and he weaved making arguments of straw
Something about how all who disagreed were sons of Esau

“When Christ died,” Horton said, “Nations now were cast out
The Church was the only nation that Christ now cared about
He brought to the fore his name and his R2K clout
And if anyone dared disagree with him, Horton would pout

And yet people like me continue to laugh and continue to boo
We continue to insist that Horton lives on planet doo-doo
We delight in mocking, and satire, and glances askew
While we shout to the world that “HORTON HASN’T A CLUE”

Author: jetbrane

I am a Pastor of a small Church in Mid-Michigan who delights in my family, my congregation and my calling. I am postmillennial in my eschatology. Paedo-Calvinist Covenantal in my Christianity Reformed in my Soteriology Presuppositional in my apologetics Familialist in my family theology Agrarian in my regional community social order belief Christianity creates culture and so Christendom in my national social order belief Mythic-Poetic / Grammatical Historical in my Hermeneutic Pre-modern, Medieval, & Feudal before Enlightenment, modernity, & postmodern Reconstructionist / Theonomic in my Worldview One part paleo-conservative / one part micro Libertarian in my politics Systematic and Biblical theology need one another but Systematics has pride of place Some of my favorite authors, Augustine, Turretin, Calvin, Tolkien, Chesterton, Nock, Tozer, Dabney, Bavinck, Wodehouse, Rushdoony, Bahnsen, Schaeffer, C. Van Til, H. Van Til, G. H. Clark, C. Dawson, H. Berman, R. Nash, C. G. Singer, R. Kipling, G. North, J. Edwards, S. Foote, F. Hayek, O. Guiness, J. Witte, M. Rothbard, Clyde Wilson, Mencken, Lasch, Postman, Gatto, T. Boston, Thomas Brooks, Terry Brooks, C. Hodge, J. Calhoun, Llyod-Jones, T. Sowell, A. McClaren, M. Muggeridge, C. F. H. Henry, F. Swarz, M. Henry, G. Marten, P. Schaff, T. S. Elliott, K. Van Hoozer, K. Gentry, etc. My passion is to write in such a way that the Lord Christ might be pleased. It is my hope that people will be challenged to reconsider what are considered the givens of the current culture. Your biggest help to me dear reader will be to often remind me that God is Sovereign and that all that is, is because it pleases him.

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