If you got knocked up in order to collect a larger government check because you couldn’t afford your three children by three different men.
If you were glad for the government bailout because it allowed you to take your trip to the Riviera with your mistress.
If you were able to base your recent bank mortgage loan on the fact that you had had three jobs in two weeks.
If you cheated on your taxes and knew it wouldn’t matter much unless you were nominated to be the Secretary of the Treasury.
If you think that drinking copious amounts of Liquor is a cure for a hangover or if you think that borrowing more money is a cure for debt.
If you think that it is necessary to teach 1st graders what a dildo is while showing films on how homosexuals couple.
If you hate God even though you are convinced that he doesn’t exist.
If, while shoveling your sidewalk clean of the 24 inches of snow you have received daily for the past week, you keep warm in the sub zero cold by looking forward to legislation that will stop global warming.
If you consider Barney Frank a role model for America’s children.
If you think women should have a right to choose to kill their children but you don’t think Americans should have the right to choose to keep and bear arms.
If you think Republicans are conservative.
If you were one of the 1.8 million that attended the Obama inauguration but not one of the 14 who had a job and so had to miss work.