Father’s day is two weeks away and already I’m thinking about the impact of Fathers for good and for ill on their children. One reason that is the case is a song a niece of mine in Nashville wrote and released as a music video. The song, for those knowing the backdrop of the lyrics, is a lament over her relationship with her father.
I will give you the lyrics below.
However, at this point, I want to reinforce to men how much they can mess up their children by being a terrible human being. Children are wet cement and will be shaped in accord to the way their Father treats them. Some children can rise above that but in my experience in the ministry that is rare to see. However, again, God’s grace can overcome the deepest wounding of a Father upon his children.
Often (not always) a Fathers mistreatment of his children will reveal itself in their children’s broken sexuality. Ill-treated daughters will often (not always) become sexually promiscuous looking for a man to give them the affection that their Father never gave them. Mistreated sons will often (not always) turn to sodomy as the fractured Father-Son male bonding continues to reveal itself as fractured with twisted male bonding.
Fathers, be a positive presence in the life of your children. If you have standards live up to them yourself. Your children will smell every whiff of hypocrisy. When you discipline your children make sure and do so firmly but calmly. If you make mistakes (and you will) admit them to your children and ask forgiveness. Don’t be afraid to be transparent with them. They’ll see through any attempt to not be transparent. Talk freely in front of them about your weaknesses but don’t take an odd pride in those weaknesses. Spend quality and quantity time with your children. Prioritize them. Pass on to them the Faith by giving them both orthodoxy and exhibiting before them orthopraxy. Love your wife in front of your children. There is no better catechism for them in their future choice of a spouse than for them to see you love your wife (their mother) well.
We lose our children to alien faiths and ideologies for many reasons. One of those reasons is that we are faithless as fathers. Don’t let that be the reason that your children as adults become strangers to you.
Here is the song I was speaking of earlier. It breaks my heart for a host of reasons.